Minimize the Making of Bad or Poor Decisions

We’ve all done it.  We’ve all made poor choices.  Bad decisions that we’ve lived to regret.

Is there a way to minimize these?  After all, we can only hope to minimize them, since none of us can ever completely avoid them.  We’re just too human.

For example, ever been in an auto accident—your fault?  You go, and in a split-second, you knew!  You shouldn’t have.  But you did anyway.  Why?  Stubbornness, impatience, irritability, you were just too tired to wait, to hold yourself back.  It was a split–second, hair width, calculated decision, a choice, but a bad one.  And only afterwards, when the damage is already done, do you regretfully admit to yourself that it was also a very stupid one.  And you say, “Why oh why did I do it?  I should have known better.”

There are many factors that go into the making of poor decisions.  Perhaps it might help to consciously be aware of them.

We often make bad decisions when for example:

A.    We are angry, irritable, sad or hurt, defensive, or impatient. 
B.    We are hungry, tired, sick, feeling physical discomfort or pain.
C.    We become arrogant, stubborn, selfish, and willful. 
D.    We suffer from any combination of the above.

Breaking it down further:

A.    Our state of mind is directly affected by our emotional state.

We tend to make very regrettable decisions when we are emotionally distraught.  Better decisions are made when we know what we feel and how we feel.  Believe it or not, many of us are out of touch, even out of sync with our deepest feelings.  Furthermore, we not only should be in touch with how we feel, but why we feel as we do.

Fear and anxiety, for example, are great hindrances to making good decisions.  Undefined worries and perhaps even feelings of powerlessness, nudge us toward “giving-in” to a decision that our deepest instincts are actually shouting “no” to.  When we’re fearful, we are often most vulnerable to unwise influence and un-insightful suggestions.  Facing our fears and dealing with them appropriately will help us make much better decisions.

Hurt pride and/or the desire to please others or to look good in the eyes of others is another example.  Worthy decisions are made on the bases of real issues and concrete factors regarding the question at hand.  Sometimes we make a decision, not because it is good or right, but because we know someone or other will be pleased with us for that particular choice.  We are hooked in a very bad way when critical decisions are made on the bases of gaining the approval of others.

B.    Our physical condition also has a direct effect on our mental acuity.

Our emotional wellbeing and our physical wellbeing affect each other.  Sadness drains physical energy.  Exercise perks up feelings of happiness.  Our physical condition also influences our ability to think well.    If possible, when called upon to make a critical decision affecting self, family, friends, relationships, business, what have you, it’s best to do so after you’ve eaten, had a good night’s rest, or recovered from an illness.

C.    Our self-will can often hinder us from making a wholesome decision.

Sometimes we want what we want, and that’s that.  We don’t want to hear cautionary advice to the contrary.  We all have our stubborn moments when we get selfish, egotistical, and demanding of our way—no matter what.  This is when a very bad decision is most apt to occur.  No one can talk us out of it.  We dash forward, refusing to consider others’ opinions, feelings, or thoughts on the matter.  Only later, we are so very sorry and full of apologies, sometimes even life-long regret.  What happened?  We got pigheaded and willful, like a terrible two-year-old throwing a temper-tantrum stamping his feet repeatedly saying, “I want, I want, I want…I will!”

Lack of will can be just as harmful when called upon to make a choice.  We may be full of self-doubt.  We may not want the responsibility, not wanting to shoulder the blame if things go wrong.  So, we choose not to choose—usually a poor decision indeed.  This is inverse willfulness.  It’s stubbornness in the negative: “I don’t want, I don’t want, I won’t!”

We cannot escape.  We all make small, medium, and large decisions on a regular basis.  Obviously some of us are in greater positions of responsibility than others.  Still, none of us are without any responsibility at all.  We choose and we decide.  And every decision, small or great, has its impact—on self, and others.  A mature adult knows this and graciously accepts it with courage—and attempts to make the best of it.