You Have Power, Are You Abusing It?

Power!  Realize it or not, recognize it or not, you have power and you use it daily.

For example, if you are a parent, you exercise power.  If you have responsibility at the workplace affecting others under you, you have power.  It is obvious that some have more power than others and that there is a clear structural hierarchy of power in any society.  What may not be so obvious is that we all exercise power over someone at various times and circumstances in our lives, and we all have a certain amount of personal power, wherever we may find ourselves in the social hierarchy of power.

And that’s why we get into power struggles.  What’s a “power struggle”?  It’s a battle of the wills.  It’s a stand-off as to who is going to get his/her way.  It might play out in direct defiance to authority or passive resistance to outside pressure.  It can be direct or indirect, aggressive or passive, militant or peaceful.  But it is still a question of who is going to have the last word, the final say, or determine the end result.

When we want our way badly enough we’re often tempted to use sheer force, if we can get away with it.  For, resorting to naked power is the easiest way to get something done, that is, to get someone to do something we want them to do.  Demand, order, command, and make it so!  Ordering someone to do something gets the deed done, quickly, effectively, and efficiently—that’s why the military, for example, is run by strict lines of command.  This kind of use of power, however, seldom serves the interpersonal relationship well.  (For example, consider the parent/child relationship—especially when the kids become teens.)

Of course there are places and times in which simple military type commands and demands are in order and are expected and required, whether at work or at play: “Take care of that.  See that this gets done.  Fix it.  Do this, get that.”  Simple commands, no questions asked, no explanation required.  Follow instructions and do as you’re told.  That’s how it works in a chain of command situation at work, at home, or on the playing field.  And that’s why power is structured and well-marked in most social circumstances: titles and uniforms, badges of authority, authorized positions, and other signifiers of power.

But as we all know, power can be abused and anyone with power tends to do so.  It seems to be human nature to move in the direction of abusing power.  Consider our most recent concern over police power and their quick use of firearm against inner-city black youth.  Hence, there is a reason why our governmental system is one of “Checks and Balances”!

I think it is safe to say that people who are given much power over others need to be regularly “checked” (thinking of “checks and balances”) in order to avoid the abuse of that power.  Furthermore, we should not only monitor the obvious offices and positions that use power to get their work done, such as police, politicians, and military personnel, but those who have and wield the more subtle power of monetary influence, including huge financial institutions, that directly or indirectly affect our nation’s economic health and well being. 

Power is both authorized and assumed.  Authorized power comes from taking on certain roles or positions.  Police officers have authorized power.  Assumed power comes from one’s own inner strength, will, and charisma.  There is usually a constant interplay of mutual reinforcement between the two sources of power within any given individual.  Individuals that fail to recognize acknowledge or own their power are most apt to unintentionally side-step appropriate lines of accountability and thus tend to abuse their unacknowledged power.  Individuals who do acknowledge and recognize their power while deliberately avoiding open lines of accountability for its use are surely abusing it.  In either case, the result is the lack of true accountability of power and the inevitable abuse of that power.  Individuals in positions of power not only need to recognize and own the power that they have, they also need to accept avenues of accountability for its use.

Power has purpose.  There is always intention behind one’s use of power.  To what end should human personal and/or political (social) power be used?  Answer: personal and social (positional) power should be used for the good—to benefit those directly and indirectly affected by one’s use of power, including one’s self.  This is in contrast to power that is used for selfish, self-serving, egotistical, and egocentric purposes and ends.  Thus, when one is in a professional position of power, one must exercise that power for professional purposes—for the good of society, his or her community—and seldom, if ever, use it for personal gain or personal satisfaction.

Thus, the good exercise of power does not seek to merely control others.  Rather, it seeks to enhance and empower others to be better and do better, to become more empowered to excel and do well and to positively contribute to the collective good—at work, at play, or at home.

And so, for example, on a personal level, when we want someone to do something for us or with us, we would seldom say that we want them to do so out of a motivation of fear or guilt or shame or mere obligation to us.  This is what the bad exercise of force leads to, when used to control others.  It may get the effect one wants—the desired “obedience,” but the so-called obedience or compliance then comes with anger and resentment in the person so controlled.  This kind of use of power is self-defeating and is often eventually challenged.  It damages the true cohesiveness of society and community.  The use of naked power to control others never builds a healthy community.  On the other hand, the wise use of power, in a context of open and reciprocated accountability, invites others to self-empowerment to freely choose that which is productive, good, and constructive.  That is personal power well used for the collective good.  This is what all politicians, financial money barons, and military/police force types should never forget.

How Are You Changed?

People change.  That’s good—if it’s for the better.  Hopefully it is, though not always. 

We may think that we do not like change, especially as we get older.  Indeed, the older I get the more I like routine and predictability.  It makes negotiating through life much easier.  Yet, change is constant.  It should also be so with us.

Change is the norm for the young and so they adapt easily enough.  The older have a harder time of it.  And that’s why they resist it.  However, I wouldn’t be surprised if there is a study somewhere that shows that the elderly do much better (emotionally, psychologically, physically) when they embrace and “go with the flow” of change rather than fight and resist it.

What we elderly types need to realize is that even though we’re older, we still need to develop, change, and grow—internally.  We can always be better people, become wiser, kinder, more patient, or whatever.  When an older person gets to the point where he or she thinks: “I’ve arrived.  I no longer need to learn.  I no longer need to question my assumptions or test my conclusions; I know what I know and that’s final,” he or she is in trouble and/or will cause a lot of trouble.

It’s funny; many teenagers think the same way (I know what I know…).  Is it possible that the elderly can enter into a second teen life mentally and attitudinally—as in for example: “The world should revolve around me, I know (it all), don’t tell me what to do; it’s my life!”  I suppose it is.  Or perhaps it’s that some of us never grow out of that stage in life.

The fact is that over the years I have met some very wise, malleable and mature teens in my life.  I say “malleable” because they grow and develop by remaining flexible and adaptable, adjusting their perceptions and conclusions as they learn, remaining open to new insights and perspectives.  Wise and mature adults, no matter how old they get, never lose this trait.  This is the kind of change that one should always welcome and embrace in one’s self.

It is not accepting change for the sake of change itself.  It is learning to adjust to a changing world, an ability to adapt to changing circumstances, a willingness to accept new information and insight and to embrace their consequences with the necessary alterations to one’s mental habits and predilections—which is not easily done the older we get, but still necessary if we are to continue on the pathway of growth and maturity.

In our youth oriented society, though, the real challenge is learning how to keep the generations connected with each other so that we journey life together, as opposed to one generation dismissing the other as irrelevant and unnecessary to its own age group.

Why It’s Better Being a Grandparent

I am immensely enjoying being a grandparent, much more than being a parent.  Why?  Well, it’s more fun and less stressful.  But most of all, I am older and wiser and therefore much more patient and understanding.  I now have the luxury of truly being focused on the child.

Okay, I don’t have the kids 24/7.  That takes away much of the stress right there.  And even when our grandchild does come over for the day, the caretaking is shared with my wife—who carries the larger share of the childcare burden.  So, I’ve got it pretty nice.  That means that most of the time I spend with my granddaughter is free time, fun time, relational time, which means quality time.  And that’s what makes it nice.

I recently took my two year old granddaughter to McDonalds.  It’s been a while since I’ve been there.  I discovered that they still sell “Happy Meals.”  (Apparently they’re supposed to be more nutritious nowadays.)  It was our first McDonalds trip together, just me and my granddaughter.

We sat.  We ate.  She had chicken nuggets with sweet & sour sauce, apple juice, and fries.  She willingly sat in the high chair, took a few bites of the nuggets, first carefully dipping it in the sauce, and drank some of her juice.  Then she looked around and noticed the indoor playground.  The meal was over.  We were in the enclosed play area with an indoor jungle gym with two huge tubular slides.  The minute she took this in and realized what it was, she was clearly done eating.  She wanted to play.  And that was fine by me.  That’s why I took her there in the first place.

So I got up, took her out of her high chair and set her down on the floor and let her go at it.  Of course, I followed her.  At two years, she was a bit too small for the big tubular slides, but she was big enough to get up on the lower base level, which she promptly did.  I watched as she watched the other kids go up and down and climb around.  She was delighted.  She also enjoyed climbing up onto the stationary swivel chairs that were permanently attached to the eating tables.  She tried several that were at various empty tables.

I just watched.  And that’s the thing.  I just watched.  I was focused on enjoying her enjoying herself.  I was delighted by her delight.  As I mentioned there were other kids there too, with their parents.  I especially noticed this one couple with their two boys.  All the parents there were keeping watch over their children, including this couple.  But they were also multitasking, especially this one couple: on their cell phones or iPads, surfing the web, texting, dialing, communicating, taking care of business, or doing whatever while watching their kids.

In other words, the kids were in their peripheral vision, secondary, given partial attention.  I can’t and don’t blame them.  As a parent, I was the same, would be still doing the same.  But, as a grandparent, I had the privilege and the luxury of giving my granddaughter my full attention.  Yes, I had my iPhone with me.  And I did use it.  I used it to take a couple of quick photos of my granddaughter on the jungle-gym.  What freedom, what luxury!!  To be able to just enjoy the joy of my granddaughter at play without having to multitask and try getting other necessary business out of the way—that is the joy of being a grandparent.

Our American lifestyle causes many families to break up and move apart.  Grandparents live miles and miles away from their grandchildren.  Adult siblings also live miles apart from each other, cousins rarely see each other, but for the holidays.  What a shame.  I could see how my grandchild benefits greatly from living near her grandparents on both sides.  The parents have it that much easier as well: for one, there is free baby sitting available on a regular bases, or especially when there is an immediate need in a crunch.

I am now convinced more than ever of our need for extended family—it takes a village.  If one’s biological family is not nearby, there should be other connections made in one’s church or synagogue, for example, that could make up for the loss.  It seems that our society is losing the value of the extended family, beyond the nuclear family unit.  We need real community, connecting the young with the elderly, giving parents freedom to get away and be away, with confidence, from their kids, allowing for extended family relations (who do have the time) to give focused attention to their growing children.  Not all of us should be on the fast track.  Many grandparents (or other mature elderly types) have the freedom and are able to make time in a busy week to give that wonderful attention to children that they long for.  For, as the saying goes, they grow up fast, and soon enough they will neither need nor want such focused attention.

Can Pastors Predict a Bad Marriage at the Wedding?

I’ve performed more than a few weddings over the years as a pastor, and not all those that I have wedded have stayed together.  And I’m not in the least surprised.

Please note: I neither take credit for the marriages that have thrived nor do I accept blame for the marriages that have failed, of those I have wedded.  You see, an eager couple ready to be married rarely listens to a pastor’s advice anyway.  At such a time the couple is not interested in pastoral advice, and usually assumes that premarital-counseling is really unnecessary.  Love is blind, as the cliché goes, and so there is a kind of willful ignorance to any warning signs or danger signals that their marriage may be doomed from the start.  After all, love is sufficient, isn’t it?

So, what a couple really wants from the pastor is a skillful articulate officiator who will perform the wedding ceremony with expertise and finesse so that it has grace and style—at least that’s what the bride wants.  The groom, he simply wants efficiency so that he can get through it quickly enough and with the least amount of effort.

So what are some signs that a marriage is doomed to failure?  Two words sum it up: disrespect and dishonesty.  Both of these characteristics play-out very subtly, are rarely detected upfront, and are not usually consciously known, let alone owned and admitted to, by the perpetrator.

Take disrespect.  Here’s an example: Sometimes a bride will be warned, “You know that your fiancée is known for being a… (Insert a bad character-trait here)?”  And her response goes something like this: “I know.  But I’m going to change that.  I’ll change him.”  She is obviously assuming that she has the power to change the man.  She is wrong.  She doesn’t.  And, she’ll find out the hard way.  Ironically what’s at the bottom of her assumption is disrespect for his person—believing that she can, should, and does have the power to change who he is.  Only he can change who he is; it must come from the inside out, not forced from the outside in.  Hence, if either bride or groom goes into a marriage with this kind of attitude toward the other, it is a sure bet that their marriage won’t last.

The same is true when a groom believes he has the right to dominate and control his wife, as in “I expect her to be a submissive and obedient wife!”  This attitude is rarely stated so blatantly and openly, but the tell-tail signals are there from the get-go.  This too is a matter of disrespect, because no one has the right to control anyone—not even within a marriage, or especially within a marriage; not even the so-called “man of the house.”  Yet, there are many grooms who harbor exactly that kind of attitude over their brides: “Once we’re married, you will do what I say.”  This marriage is also heading for failure.

Now take dishonesty.  Of course, a couple need not tell each other’s most hidden and deepest of their life’s secrets in order to have a successful marriage—especially if such a secret is something of the past that has been adequately addressed and dealt with.  In that case, the past is the past and it is water under the bridge.  Leave it be.  However, present issues and realities in one’s life that one hides from one’s fiancée; that’s a different story altogether!  If bride or groom is fearful of how the other might react to knowing the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth, about him or her self, then the relationship is already unstable to begin with.  The marriage is sure to fail because the truth/secret will inevitably be discovered and known.  For, to hide vital or crucial information that may have major consequences to the relationship is no different than telling an outright lie.

Then there is also dishonesty of intention.  Example: A bride may be a devout follower of her faith.  The groom knows this.  While dating, the man seems to embrace her faith, to accept, believe, and practice it as she does.  He knows he wouldn’t get very far with her otherwise.  So, he plays along.  He tries.  He goes to church with her and makes an effort at showing good faith, conforming to her religious practices—until they are married!  Then it stops.  Sometimes it is a sudden and abrupt stop, surprising everyone.  But most of the time it is a slow and steady exit, a missed service here, a lack of interest there, and finally a total lack of participation in anything to do with the faith and its practices.  Thus, in terms of religious faith, he is right back where he may have been when the couple first met—unbelieving and uninterested in the things of faith or religion—passive resistant at best, aggressively offensive at worse.  The marriage is heading for hard times.

Dishonesty and disrespect plays out in many different forms and runs down various avenues.  This can especially be true in the way a couple deals with the question of money and finances.  Finances and household management are foundational to a couple’s stable home life.  Who is to control money-spending decisions and manage the budget?  How is the use and handling of money to be accounted for?

Another area where dishonesty and disrespect may play itself out cruelly is in the couple’s hidden assumptions and expectations as to how children are to be raised and treated.  What is the role and status of children in a household (e.g., are children to be “seen and not heard” or are they to play the central role in family focus at all times)?  How shall the children be disciplined?  Who serves whom (parent or child) when pursuing competing goals and dreams as to family resources, time and profession, career and calling, and personal growth?

There are other issues that need fleshing out and common understanding.  The question of finances and children are the most obvious and critical.  And so the real issue is whether or not a couple respects each other well enough to be able to address these issues openly, honestly, and straightforwardly from the start and are able to have fruitful and productive discussion on these topics without a fall out.  Nevertheless, better to have  a “fall-out” before marriage than after.

Generally speaking, we’ve been at a kind of 50/50 ratio.  This is not exact but its close to it.  That is to say that roughly only half of all marriages actually last a lifetime.  We could do better than that.  We want to do better than that.  Some decide to put-off marriage, live together first and than marry later in life, as if that will guarantee a lasting marriage.  It doesn’t.  What does make a difference is real honesty, healthy self-knowledge, and true mutual respect.

For those of you, who are tying the knot this wedding season of 2015, I pray that you truly enjoy your wedding day and that your marriage will be a truly happy one.

Is the Way of Christ a Better Way?

All religions espouse moral and ethical ideals, buttressed by certain rules and regulations about worship, holiness, goodness, truth, integrity, honor, respect, loyalty, honesty, justice, obedience, etc.  And they all have to do with relationship: One’s relationship to God and one’s relationship to others.

Hence religions also teach and model rites and rituals to their adherents who are to practice and observe them—prescribed ways of appropriately approaching God, ways of relating to, praying to, or referring to God, and ways of asking and requesting of God, that is, seeking God’s aid, favor, and/or approval.

Thus religious institutions play a major role in defining humanity’s nature and status before God: Who can approach God and how, what and who is acceptable before God, and who and what is not?  When and how is one forgiven and allowed access to a perfectly Holy God and when or how is one denied such access, that is, considered impure—rejected and condemned before God.

To say the least, this is heady powerful stuff.  And so, sadly, many adherents of whatever religion believe and act as if they have the right and the privileged status to be God’s gatekeepers—to force or enforce religious rule upon others, even going so far as assuming the right to deliver judgment and its consequence upon nonbelievers and stray-believers alike (as they so define), along with the self-righteous condemnation of anyone who challenges them or disagrees with their particular brand of religious practice.

As a Christian I readily acknowledge that adherents of Christianity can be just as guilty of this attitude as followers of any other Faith.  Still, it doesn’t negate the integrity of the person of Christ Himself.  It was Jesus who scolded the self-righteous religious leaders of his day when he said things like, “Now go and learn the meaning of this Scripture, ‘I desire compassion [or mercy], not sacrifice.’”  He referred to this more than once.  See Matthew 9:13.  In Matthew 12:7 Jesus adds the comment that, if they would have understood this truth, they would not have condemned the innocent.

In our religiosity, we humans tend to become judgmental and take on a superior attitude against those who fail to live up to our religious beliefs, practices, and ideals.  And in doing so, we often then condemned even the innocent.

Jesus also said, “Do not judge so that you will not be judged,” adding that we must first take out the “log” that is in our own eye before we worry about trying to take out the “speck” that is in someone else’s eye.  Here Jesus seems to be saying that the one presuming to judge others has the greater guilt (has the log) rather than the one being judged (having only a speck).  See Matthew 7:1-5.

Is there a better way then the Way of Christ?  Contemplate Jesus.  Meditate on His words, consider His actions.  Dare to practice His teachings.  Look at His life, what He modeled, how He lived?  Take Him at His word.  Digest Him.  Drink Him.  For He Himself said that he is the living water and the bread of life.  The challenge is to seriously follow Him—despite the apparent hypocrisy of those who now already claim the name of “Christian.”

You may not respect most of Jesus’ followers, but you’ve got to respect Jesus himself.  And if you do, and you seriously embrace Jesus as a master moral teacher or as a great spiritual role model, your challenge is to live as He lived.  If you take up this challenge, I have no doubt that your life will never be the same and that in the end you too will most likely and gladly confess Him as Lord and Savior.

Holding Our Police Forces Accountable?

Our city police forces across the nation are on the defensive.  Videos are popping up everywhere exposing what appears to be systemic police brutality: the use of excessive force and seemingly indefensible shootings of unarmed young black men stopped for minor offenses.

Citizens are protesting, wanting justice and demanding change and accountability.  This is only right.  But what do we mean by “accountability”?

There are two ways the word is used.  One is negative, the other is appropriately positive.

The negative manner in the way the word “accountable” is used is a subtle way of saying: we want to control the person(s) being held accountable.  We want to monitor them in such a way that we can catch them and pounce on them when they are caught doing wrong or committing grave mistakes.  It is a “gotcha” attitude—“Ah, ha, we gotcha now!  You’re going down!!”  (Ironically not unlike the mentality of abusive police officers who shoot down unarmed black men.)

This kind of “accountability” is just another form of abusive power to search and attack with the intent to catch in order to oust and condemn.  It says, “You are being watched, and if you make one slip-up, do anything wrong, we’re coming after you and we will destroy you.”  It puts one on the defensive and makes one distrust the power and authority that holds the “accountability” strings.

The positive meaning of accountability is more like when a coach says to a trainee, “I’m here to help.  I’m here so that you can do your best, so you will succeed.  If you slip-up or fall-short, or even fail, I’m here to help get you back on your feet and improve, so that you can make progress and do better.  I’m holding you accountable to the highest standards of good sportsmanship and development.”

The negative or oppressive use of the term accountability elicits a reaction of furtiveness, secretiveness, and the desire to avoid “being caught.”  It results in a spirit of defensiveness, distrust, and evasiveness.  The positive use of accountability invites engagement and welcomes scrutiny, eliciting transparency and cooperation.  Hence, healthy positive “accountability” nurtures mutual engagement and reciprocated trust and transparency with welcomed constructive critique, resulting in practical development.

Here’s an example.  Most church denominations encourage their congregations to conduct a congregational/pastoral review every few years.  If the review is one-sided and seen as the congregation’s opportunity as a fault-finding session to cough-up all that is wrong with the pastor and to list all the pastor’s faults and failures, the evaluation quickly turns into an all out attack against the pastor with little positive redeeming or constructive dynamics.  It becomes a kind of witch hunt for anyone who dislikes the pastor and wants to get rid of him/her.

On the other hand if the review is conducted in such a way that the intent is to both highlight the pastor’s strengths and maximize the good, as well as to strengthen his/her weaknesses and correct recurring mistakes (while at the same time also doing as much for the congregation itself), the accountability session results in a strengthening of the pastoral/congregational bond and adds momentum to a positive growing congregational dynamic.  Note then that healthy accountability is really a two-way street and should be applied for the purpose of enhancing and growing or developing the subjects involved rather than simply used for attacking, denouncing, and demeaning those “being held accountable.”

Thus, as our communities demand more accountability of our police departments, let it be done so in a positive spirit with constructive intent—to enhance trust and encourage reciprocal engagement, and build a more positive relationship between the community and police.  Neither side should be put on the defensive or be made to feel as if they are being watched so as to be pounced on, attacked, and “taken-out.”

Healthy positive accountability is relational, reciprocal, transparent, trust enhancing, and constructive.  Its aim is to build-up and make better, never to attack and destroy, always seeking the good and the “betterment” of those being held accountable.  That’s the kind of accountability that anyone in any profession should want to have and should be willing to invite.

When Life’s not Fair, What to Do?

“That’s not fair!!” cries the brother as the sister seems to get away with something that he could not.  What’s the parental response?  At best it’s simply to say, “Life’s not fair.”  And it’s true.  It’s not.

There are incongruities, inconsistencies, and imbalances in life that certainly seem unfair.  Too much rain and flooding over there, not enough rain and drought over here.  Bad people seem to have all the luck while good people get trounced.  Or the guilty go free and the innocent are found guilty.  Lopsided, contorted, twisted, uneven and imbalanced, that’s life.  Life is not fair.  What to do?

Remember the Biblical injunction, “an eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth….”?  (See Exodus 21:24.)  The point was not to emphasize retaliation but to restrain it.  Because, when it comes to demanding payback for harm done to us, we tend to multiply exponentially: You take my arm; in retaliation I want your arm and your two legs as well.  We tend to be that way.  It’s no wonder that God says, “Vengeance is mine.”  (See Romans 12:19.)

So, Biblically speaking, we humans are unjust by nature.  Though we have the natural instinct to demand justice for ourselves, we don’t seem to have the natural instinct for giving it to others—it is learned behavior that must be studied and developed.  If you don’t believe this, the next time your child behaves unjustly toward his/her sibling, don’t bother stepping-in to correct or teach the child, just say to yourself, “Don’t worry, he will become fair and just on his own without my having to teach him a thing about it.”  Right!!

Minimally, the least we could do in this unjust world is to avoid adding to life’s inequities and try bringing justice where we can, when we can.  But to do even that, we should probably understand the basic nature of justice itself: understand its source, its character, and its purpose.

Let’s begin with its purpose.  What is the point of justice?  What is justice trying to “get at”?  The purpose of justice is to keep us true to the value of human worth, to keep us respectful of human dignity.  All humans are to be respected, valued, and honored for who and what they are as fellow Humans Beings.  Hence, Human Beings are not to be hurt, harmed, trashed, degraded and dumped, or otherwise de-humanized by any means without consequence.  Ergo, anything that we do to another human-being that gratuitously devalues, hurts, degrades, or otherwise harms, is unjust.  Such injustice must be made right, be corrected because of the victim’s value and worth as a fellow human being.

If the purpose of justice is to keep sacrosanct human dignity and value, what is its nature or character?  That is, what are the necessary ingredients that go into the making of a just cause or act?  In short, when we act, work, play, relate, negotiate, or connect with others in any form, what do we hope to receive from each other?  What we want from each other is truth, integrity, honesty, transparency, equality, respect, dignity, and reciprocated personal value and trust.

Relationships are hindered at best, broken and destroyed at worse, without these basic relational ingredients.  Without these things, we feel cheated and ill-treated or unjustly used.  Hence, the essential nature of justice has to do with relational dynamics as described by such words as respect, honor, dignity, integrity, honesty, faithfulness, truth, trust, loyalty, and love.  That is to say: When these things are happening, justice is happening.

So, what is the source of justice, its foundation?  Ask yourself: Why should we value any Human Being?  Think about it.  Our worth can’t come from Nature itself, not really.  And it really can’t come from our own selves.  We can’t validate ourselves by self-proclamation; as if to simply claim it automatically makes it so.  It doesn’t work that way.  For, what do we do when other humans counter our claim and pronounce us to be scum, trash, and less than human—as has so often been done by one group of humans to another group of humans throughout human history?

Hence, our real value has to come from someone greater than ourselves.  That is, it must find its source in God, the God who created all humans in His image.  It’s God who asserts our dignity and gives us our value and is therefore the measure of all that is just and right in human relational dynamics.

It goes without saying that our own human attempt at applying justice among ourselves leaves much to be desired.  Human justice is quite inept, imperfect and full of flaws.  In that sense, actual justice is only relative here on earth.  Without the hope of a Final Day-of-Reckoning before God, we are much to be pitied.  For, we’ll never get real justice, only approximate justice.  Our only hope is that God will bring us ultimate true justice, in the end.  However, such a promise from God should be both comforting and foreboding at the same time.  Imagine getting what you really and truly deserve for the things you’ve done wrong in life.

Nevertheless God’s justice is best, for it will have the necessary breadth and depth to it that we humans don’t have.  As humans we often fail to “see the forest for the trees.”  We get lost in the details and forget to look at the larger picture.  But we can trust in God’s greater perspective.  For example, real justice takes into account differences and unique or special considerations; it does not equate equality with sameness—as in “one size fits all.”  This requires a breadth and depth of information that only God can have.  Humans manipulate, deceive, cover-up, dissuade.  Thankfully God sees through us, and knows our hearts, looking at what truly is, with integrity and truth, revealing the human soul with true openness and transparency.  This is what we should all want, if only it were not also so dreadful to think about in the facing of it.