Most of us want and welcome helpful, informative, and supportive feedback. It helps us to develop our skills, modify our behavior for the better, and to expand our outlook on things. In short, it helps us grow.
We are talking about constructive criticism. But few of us actually seem to know how to ask for it, let alone give or receive it well. Is there a secret? No, there’s no secret. But there are some simple principles to follow when giving, receiving, or asking for constructive criticism.
1. First, positive feedback has the interest of the person in mind.
The real intent of constructive criticism is to build up, not to tear down. For example, most of us want feedback when we are learning something new, as in taking on a new position, role, office, or set of responsibilities. It reflects our desire to grow and to do well.
We have blind spots and we know this. We are also aware of the fact that there are those who know more than we do, or have a better perspective than we do, and can therefore provide us with insightful and constructive feedback. If they are willing to give it, we need to be willing to ask for it—in the interest of all concerned.
2. And, about asking for it: constructive criticism is solicited not presumptuously given.
Okay, bosses, employers, managers, people in authority over you, yes, they have a right to give unsolicited feedback to those under their watch. It shows that they are on top of things and that they care. That is, if the feedback is positively and constructively appropriate. For they could just as well sit back and watch you fail without offering a word of advice—to your detriment.
But fellow workers and colleagues, or those below you in the pecking order of things, generally do not volunteer advice or feedback unless it’s asked for; otherwise they may seem arrogant and presumptuous.
You do well to invite their feedback. Never be afraid to solicit honest feedback from your equals or from your so-called “inferiors.” They may just give you the most useful feedback you need. Learn to be inviting and teachable and model openness and humility in engaging others.
3. Constructive criticism is descriptive, not evaluative.
Evaluative feedback is judgmental: “You’re inefficient and sloppy.”
Descriptive criticism speaks to the action: “You overlooked the second step in a three step series. This is why the outcome was less than adequate. Follow all three steps completely and you will have much better results.”
Constructive feedback does not critique the person it critiques the work. There is no accusatory judgment in descriptive critique. It’s a simple matter of staying professional and not getting personal.
4. Helpful criticism is concrete and specific.
Too general: “You did well; if you tweak some things it will even be better the next time.” This critique offers no constructive elements. One might ask, “How well or tweak what exactly”?
Nicely and constructively specific: “Your presentation caught most people’s attention; next time, try using more images, add more color, and use larger print, and I’m sure you will dazzle them.” This critique is quite specifically helpful, offering concrete ideas for improvement.
5. That is to say that constructive feedback addresses matters that can actually be changed, modified, corrected, or improved.
None of us can change our ancestral heritage, our height, or the color of our eyes, etc. But we all can change specific behavior, habits, sentiments and/or attitudes.
However, before offering advice for making personal changes, you should probably ask yourself how receptive you’d be if you were being asked to make the same kind of changes in your own personal habits, perspective, way of doing things, or attitude. In other words, always be sensitive, respectful, and considerate, allowing them to "take it or leave it," especially when treading on personal territory like attitudes and habits.
6. Build a culture of positive and constructive feedback.
Feedback is best received in a context where constructive criticism is expected and welcomed as a regular and understood form of learning and encouragement.
Everyone involved should learn how to use full circle or two-way communication skills to insure that the feedback is properly understood:
“Does what I say, make sense” or “Did I explain myself well?” or “How did you understand my meaning?” are questions that invite full circle communication where the speaker is able to verify that his/her intended meaning was properly understood by the listener.
The mirroring technique is an excellent tool here, where the listener repeats back, in his/her own words, what he/she thinks the speaker has said.
In conclusion: There is no magic, no secret to giving or receiving or asking for constructive feedback. But it does take mental and emotional energy, a willing spirit, and some good communication skills. Hearing, receiving, and accepting other people’s insights, perspectives, knowledge and know-how, is how we grow and develop. Welcoming and inviting solid, positive and constructive feedback is all part of the journey in our personal and professional development. Go for it, and grow.
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