A wise lover values not so much the gift of the lover as the love of the giver. – Thomas a Kempis
First, although you may hear this every year, it is so basic that it is worth repeating: make a budget and stick to it.
Avoid buying on credit. Do NOT get into debt over gift giving. There is no shame in simply admitting to yourself that you cannot afford spending over a certain limit. In general, we Americans must learn to live within our means.
Note how commercials often encourage you to buy on credit, “charge it,” saying things like: “You deserve it, you owe it to yourself, or you’ve earned it, reward yourself,” etc. These are psychological excuses to indulge yourself. Don’t do it! Remind yourself of the old adage: “If you can’t afford it; you don’t need it.”
Thus, decide how much you can afford. Then divide and spend accordingly. That may mean, for example, that some folks on your list will get $10.00 gifts while others will get a $25.00 gift or more. But you decide how to divide up the amount so that you can stick to your overall budget.
Also, try to go for meaning over expense. You can often speak through your gift, without spending megabucks, by buying handcrafted items or by putting together your own little gift package of small but significant and meaningful items. The ideal gift speaks from, and to, the heart—without causing you financial stress.
What about the Children?
Involve your children in Christmas shopping. They too need to understand that Christmas shopping and gift giving requires some planning and careful budgeting. Help them to make lists and to determine affordability. They will soon learn that there are limits to both giving and receiving. This may help them to realize that, contrary to what business/commercialism wants us to believe, Christmas is NOT about personal indulgence and getting everything and anything one wishes.
In these days of multiple divorces and remarriage, blended families, extended separations, and weekend parenting, avoid the temptation of using gift-giving as a means of buying a child’s love or respect for you. Remember, true love cannot be bought and bribing a child into respecting or even liking you will fail in the long run. Don’t go down that road. Give genuinely, appropriately, and meaningfully. No strings attached. A sincere but humble gift is far richer and far more effective than a lavishly expensive gift that simply says, “I’ve kept my end of the deal, now you keep yours.”
Likewise, contrary to the theme of Santa’s having a Good Child and Bad Child list, avoid threatening your children with the withholding of Christmas gifts as a form of punishment, or promising special Christmas gifts as a means of rewarding your children. Christmas should never become a bargaining tool for rewarding or punishing a child’s behavior. Such an approach to Christmas altogether misses the point.
You may want to do some research on the history and development of the St. Nicholas character (Santa Claus) to teach your children about the real spirit behind Santa’s gift giving—the historical “St. Nick” was concerned for the poor and needy. From there, you can easily segue into the actual Gift of God that is Christ our Lord, Savior for humanity—which is the real heart and soul of Christmas. See the Gospel according to Luke chapters 1-2.
Happy Holidays and Merry Christmas to One and ALL!
Here comes the holidays! Merry xmas to everyone and a prosperous new year.
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