Tired of defeat? Does the thought of making another New Year’s resolution only to see yourself fail yet again leave you depressed? Do you feel as if your New Year’s resolutions are mere wishful thinking? They need not be.
Make it happen. Reach your goal. Succeed! Keep your New Year’s Resolution. You can do it. Here’s how.
Let’s say your New Year’s resolution is to spend less money and save more in the year 2016. Your finances are out of control, money is tight, and it’s not because you’re out of a job and aren’t bringing in a good income. It’s your spending habit that’s doing you in; hence, your New Year’s resolution to “spend less and save more.” How to succeed?
First, whatever the resolution may be, move from the general to the specific. In this example, “spend less, save more,” you want to move from the general idea to a more specific target: exactly how much do you want to save this year and how much less money do you want to spend? Hence say: I want to save $500 by the end of the year and spend $50 less per month on frivolous purchases.
Secondly, take a measurable and quantifiable inventory of the situation you want to change. Again, in this example, you need to identify and quantify how much you seem to be overspending—monthly, weekly, or daily—to know what you’re in for. In other words, “Know your enemy.” Why are you making this resolution? What are you presently doing that dissatisfies you or makes you want to change? Ask yourself why you want to change this behavior. After you understand the “what and why of it,” apply your WILL and “make it so” by developing a “how” plan. How are you going to tackle the change?
This is the “awareness” stage. Begin to see where, how, and why you are in the situation that you want to change. In this example you already know that you are overspending and saving very little, if anything. But you may not know how or why you’re doing it. You now need to begin to monitor your spending pattern. Look and see! Become self-aware about your spending habits. Then identify what you would define as “frivolous” spending; this is where you want to cut back or stop spending altogether.
Three, dig deeper; get in touch with your deepest motives and values. Again, in this example, your spending habits may reveal some deeper values of which you are not consciously aware. You may discover for example that you routinely splurge in one category of things while remaining tightfisted and quite stingy in another, like splurging on electronic gadgets while remaining very tightfisted when it comes to purchasing clothes or dining out for example. This reveals a personal value you have: you like what you can do with electronics but have little interest in dressing up nicely or couldn’t care less about what you eat. You now have a motive, something that will give you energy and interest to reach your goal for saving money and a good reason to spend less money on other things. Or perhaps you need to come to terms with an out of control indulgence in buying electronic gadgets.
Four, see your New Year’s resolution as a paradigm shift in the way you view yourself in the bigger picture of life’s trajectory. Where are you taking yourself in this life’s journey? What is your place in life? In short, fit your New Year’s resolution within your global self-identity as to who you are becoming. Visualize the kind of person that your New Year’s resolution points to: instead of seeing yourself as a slave to money, e.g., visualize yourself as a master who is in full control of your money.
Five, break it down into workable, bite size, doable chewable steps. In terms of savings, for example, you may have a goal of saving $50 per month by the end of 2016. Start off by saving perhaps $12 in the first month. And, do that by saving a mere $3 a week, possibly by simply putting $3 in an envelope each week and placing it in a secret drawer. Now that’s realistic and workable, wouldn’t you say? The next month you may want to set aside four or five dollars a week. By the fifth or sixth month, you’ll be surprised at how good you will feel and how tangible and workable it really becomes by having taken such small concrete steps toward success. Indeed, most major goals and tasks can and should be broken down into small workable steps. That’s how NASA took us to the moon!
Six, exercise bragging rights; that is, take pride in your accomplishment(s). Confide in a close friend or friends that you trust. These are carefully chosen friends, friends that will appreciate your successes and cheer you on, without judging or condemning you, should you slip and falter a bit. These are friends that will love to hear you brag when you succeed and will compassionately embrace you when you stumble forward. Note: there is no shame in stumbling. Just keep moving forward (hence the idea of stumbling forward); don’t stay down and don’t quit. Your well-chosen friends are there to help you do exactly that.
Finally, be realistic but make it a real challenge. If it is not challenging, it is not a viable resolution. If it is unrealistic it is a setup for personal defeat and demoralization. Remember to state your resolution in the most positive and specific manner possible. For example, instead of saying something like, “This year I am determined to watch less TV.” Rather say, “This year I will commit fifteen minutes each day to reading that novel I’ve always wanted to read.”
Have a Happy New Year’s and best wishes on your resolution(s)!
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