What is Christmas? More to the point: what is a Child’s take on Christmas?
The usual answer: Christmas is about giving. Christmas is about family. Christmas is about helping the poor, serving the needy, feeding the hungry, giving and receiving gifts.
What goes unsaid: Christmas is about indulging, off time, party time, game time, having a good time, and getting what you want (or at least hoping that you will).
Is Christmas a spiritual thing, a commercial thing, or a social thing? Best answer: it’s all of the above.
Whether you are religious or not, the odds are that you consider yourself spiritual. You may not subscribe to any particular religious persuasion or denomination but you readily believe in “The Spirit” and the things of the spirit: altruism, peace, justice, goodness, love and respect, and the need to care for self as well as others.
So you play along. You do Christmas despite the fact that you are not a Christian. Maybe you are an agnostic, or an atheist, or perhaps tangentially self-identified with another religion altogether—Hinduism, Buddhism, Judaism, whatever—still you do Christmas. Why?
Because it’s for the kids or it’s good for a family get together, and besides that, the presents are nice. It’s nice to give. And it teaches us to think of others, especially the less fortunate.
In short, we make Christmas what we want it to be and discard the rest. I get that. Even though I am a Christian and I believe that the true essence of Christmas is about Jesus, the Christ/Messiah, Son of God, born to save humanity from its self and from condemnation, I get it. Christmas doesn’t just belong to Christians. Maybe it never really did. People are free to celebrate Christmas as they like and make of it what they will.
So in that light, here are a few helpful principles to keep in mind while doing Christmas—for the kids:
1. Remember that as parents you are always “on stage” teaching your children, because you are always doing. We teach by our actions. We teach our children by what we practice, what we do. You may say one thing, but they will follow your behavior more than your words. How do you behave during the Christmas season? What are you really teaching them about Christmas by the way you act during Christmas?
2. However, actions must be interpreted. Our kids are keen interpreters of our behavior. That is, the way we do something, the attitude and spirit in which we carry out our actions, says a lot about what we’re really thinking, how we really feel or value what we’re doing. So what are you really saying to your kids by the spirit and attitude you exude during the Christmas season?
3. Children enjoy pretending: “Let’s make believe….” All children love to play this game. But kids are not dumb. They know the difference between fable and reality. Don’t confuse fable with reality or reality with fable. Dare to dig deeper. Look up the real history of “Santa Claus” (or “Father Christmas”). Did you know that there is a real historical figure, a real St. Nicholas that is the source of our present fantasy we call Santa? Look it up. And remember, Jesus is also a real historical figure as well.
4. And finally, if you believe that Christmas is for “family.” Then realistically deal with family issues and problems, using the Christmas season as a catalyst for taking steps toward healing. Many, if not all, family gathering events have their sore spots. There are wounded families with open sores. The Christmas season is a good time to take small though tentative steps in the direction of healing. For example, forgive where forgiveness is needed or apologize where an apology is required. Or make contact where the need to reconnect is long overdue.
The Christmas season brings social pressures, family pressures, and commercial and financial pressures, to say the least. The tendency is to push toward excess, over indulgence, etc. My guess is that, if you are going to make this a better Christmas than previous years, you need to focus on the spiritual aspect of Christmas and especially minimize the commercial financial aspect of Christmas.
Yes, let the kids have their Christmas. But don’t let them indulge in self-pity, moaning and groaning because they did not get everything they wanted for Christmas. Move it up a notch. Enjoy the spiritual side of your Christmas celebration. Give simply and inexpensively, and with reflection and consideration as to what and why you are participating in this Holiday Celebration at all. Yes, you can “do” Christmas and do it well—without you or your kids necessarily falling into the de-facto commercialism of it all.
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