Monday, June 1, 2015

No Stellar Christian Families Exist: Think of the Duggar Family

There is a misconception about Christian families, a false premise, if you will, and that is that the parents and children of a good Christian family do little wrong—that is, have no terribly shameful really bad things to be ashamed of in their lives.

This is why when you display a “good” Christian family on TV such as the Duggar Family (TLC’s show entitled “19 Kids and Counting”), and suddenly discover a scandal in their midst—like a 2006 Police Report revealing that Josh Duggar is alleged to have sexually abused several young girls when he was a teen—there is outrage, accusations of hypocrisy, and denunciation of Christianity itself, or worse.

If what we mean by a “good” Christian family is a family that has no serious faults, no evidence of psycho-social dysfunctionality within or among its members, and no skeletons in its closet, there is no such thing as a good Christian family on the face of this planet earth and never will be.

If, however, we mean to say, by referring to a “good” Christian family, that a family is open and honest about its faults, failures, hang-ups and short-comings—sins, if you will—and seeks to confront member dysfunctions and the error of their ways—be they public or private, psychological or otherwise—in order to work towards healing and wholeness in appropriate and healthy ways, then that is indeed a “good” Christian family.

In other words a truly good Christian family is not one that focuses on appearances but one that faces its fallen and broken reality in a wholesome, honest, and redeeming way.  The painful reality for us humans is that all families deal with dysfunctions and imbalances and/or warped characters of some type—even Christian families or especially Christian families (since Christians should be the first to admit and confess sin and wrongdoing in its midst).

The Christian message has always been that we are not saved because we are good (otherwise we wouldn’t need to be “saved”!).  Rather, we are saved because we are NOT good.  We start on the long journey toward “goodness” by first getting saved—confessing, facing and admitting to our all too human neediness and brokenness, and seeking appropriate social, professional, legal, and spiritual help and guidance toward wholeness—so as to work toward living a healthy non-dysfunctional life.  So, for example, within any “good” Christian family you may find addicts of different kinds: sex addicts, drug addicts, food addicts, etc.  It should come as no surprise that a Christian family has such brokenness and need for healing in its midst.  It is the very reason why a Savior is needed.  “I have come to save the lost,” Jesus says, “It is not the healthy that need a physician but the sick.”  One way to put it is that Jesus is the Higher Power that helps the broken and addicted back on the road to release and recovery.

Somehow, we, both secular society and Christian churches, have turned this principle on its head and have made it seem as if only truly good people can and do become Christians because somehow they are the only ones that have earned the right to receive God’s grace and blessings.   Wrong!!

The Duggar family appeared to be a prime example of a family having earned the right to be called a Christian family and receive God’s blessings and become the poster-child for good Christian family dynamics.  Again, wrong!!

It is only now; now that the dirt is out in the open that the real power of their faith and the real presence of Christ’s Grace in their life can be witnessed.  There is brokenness.  Wrongs have been committed.  Harm has been done.  There is guilt.  So NOW is when a real Savior is needed, even as they face the harsh and hard realities of the social, political, economical, and legal consequences of the wrong that has been done by various Duggar family members.  Now is when they should get to experience the real reason for their need to have faith in Christ as their Lord and Savior.

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