I have no doubt that Adrian Peterson (NFL star running back for the Minnesota Vikings) is being utterly sincere. He truly does not see himself as a Child Abuser. In his own mind and heart he was not abusing his son. And he really is sorry for any harm he may have caused by that last beating he gave to his four year old son, using a switch (a twig from a tree or bush?). Sorrowfully, he may also be sincerely wrong, wrong about what he thought he was doing.
All of us believe in the principle of using disciplinary measures. So it is not a question as to whether or not any disciplinary measure should have been used. It is a question of type or form and its severity. As the saying goes, “The punishment must fit the crime.” Though some cultures or societies will say that any kind of corporal punishment is abusive, other societies will say corporal punishment is quite permissible and even necessary—within reason.
What do we say? I’m sure whatever it is we do say, we do not agree with each other—not in our multi-cultural, diverse and pluralistic society.
By using a wooden switch to spank his four year old son, Adrian Peterson apparently caused unspecified injuries to him. Perhaps this is where most of us can find agreement—that causing injury is going over the top, is abusive.
Even so, Peterson sees himself as a good father and believes that he was exercising his just right as a father to discipline his son for his son’s own good—no injury or bodily harm was intended. Says, Peterson, “My goal is always to teach my son right from wrong and that’s what I tried to do that day.”
In a public statement, Peterson categorically rejects the label “Child Abuser.” He says, “I am not a perfect son. I am not a perfect husband. I am not a perfect parent, but I am without a doubt, not a child abuser [my emphasis].” I would agree. So, let’s not label Peterson a child abuser. Still, was the deed itself abusive—the specific whipping of the boy with a switch that led to unspecified injury? Yes, I believe it was.
Peterson hit it on the nose when he said, “I also understand after meeting with a psychologist that there are other alternative ways of disciplining a child that may be more appropriate.” In other words, because of this incident (and its exposure to public scrutiny), the proverbial light bulb went on. It has become a teaching moment. As if to say: “Oh, you mean there are actually better and more effective means of disciplining my child so as to instill in him a healthy respect for right and wrong?” Yes, there are.
Adrian Peterson simply behaved as his father behaved before him and perhaps as his father behaved before him, on down the generations. We do what we’ve lived. And, of course, everybody knows the oft quoted Biblical passage that has itself become a justification for much abusive behavior—often misquoted as “spare the rod, spoil the child.” For the actual quote see Proverbs 13:24 and 22:15. These two proverbial passages do uphold the principle of appropriate discipline while not justifying abusive corporal punishment. Point being, it is safe to say that Peterson is now in the process of changing his mind. He is perhaps rethinking what he has learned and experienced, about discipline and the use of corporal punishment. It is possible that he is coming to a new and better understanding as to what constitutes “appropriate disciplinary action.”
Perhaps this is something all of us should be doing. Rethinking, reconsidering, and reframing a new mindset as to what constitutes appropriate discipline or punishment—at all levels. For example, our nation imprisons more of its population than any other nation in the world. Perhaps as a society we are being abusive in our overuse of prisons and prison-sentencing within our judicial system.
Is it possible that there are various aspects of our American culture that lends itself toward abusive behavior among our men, husbands, and fathers—resulting in various levels or forms of child abuse, sexual abuse, spousal abuse, and battered women, and so-on and so-forth? Perhaps we need to collectively take a hard look at ourselves and ask ourselves, why do so many men, husbands, fathers, and sons, commit abusive acts—even when they confess and admit that they never meant to cause any harm when doing so?
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