Monday, July 1, 2013

Death and Dying and Letting Go

Nelson Mandela is 94 years old.  He’s lived a long life.  Many would say he’s lived an extraordinary, meaningful and fruitful life.  Given his present illness, is it time to say good-bye?

The same could be said of Billy Graham.  He’s about the same age as Nelson Mandela, going on 94 this year I believe.  So, next time we hear about Billy Graham being hospitalized, for pneumonia or some other illness let’s say, should we also be prepared to let him go and say our good-byes?

When is it time to say good-bye?  How does one “let go” of one’s loved one?  What time is the right time to release them?  In short, how much effort—hospital, medical, and healthcare expenses, time, money, and other material resources—should one apply, in order to keep one’s elderly loved one from dying?

Are such questions too hardhearted and coldly calculating to ask?  Are we to shun such line of questioning as too rude and insensitive to bring up?  Why?

While some family members are willing to accept the inevitable, and wish for no further medical intervention, others are horrified at the very thought of pulling the plug, as they may put it.  For such, accepting Death’s inevitability is taboo, a sacrilege, a coldblooded insensitivity and scandalously hardhearted.

Yet it’s not as if we have conquered Death.  Death attacks everyone—the good, the bad, and the insipidly lukewarm.  And Death prevails.  Death conquers all.  Death has its way with us—always has, and always will.  We are mortals still.   Death is master, so why not be wise about it?

Our advanced medical technology and our strides in the field of medicine haven’t helped.  Rather, it has blurred the lines between life and death to the point that it is more difficult, not less, to “let go” and “say good-bye” to our loved ones.

Question: in the big scheme of things (considering Faith, God, and the hope of Eternal Life beyond the grave), is it always best to do everything to keep a loved one from “passing on”?  Must we necessarily assume that the only and obvious right thing to do is to use every medical means possible, at whatever cost, to whatever extent, to keep Granny, Grandpa, Mom, Dad, etc. alive—even if the effort promises to perhaps only add a few short months, if that, to an already long and well-lived life?

Yes, it’s a fair question to ask.  We need to talk about death.  We need to discuss both how to die peacefully as well as how to let go properly, to be able to say good-bye to those who are dying.   We need to learn to deal with the reality and inevitability of Death with sobriety, wisdom, peace, and unselfish faith.

First, why do I say unselfish faith?  It is now common knowledge that those who have had a near death experience are united in their testimony that they would rather have stayed there, on the other side of death, than to have come back.  For them, coming back was either a matter of concern for those they left behind or needing to complete a task not yet completed.  In short, the witness is that the other side is far better than this side of death.

This concurs with the Biblical testimony, such as when the Apostle Paul says: “Death has been swallowed up in victory.  Where oh Death is your victory?  Where oh Death is your sting?  …but thanks be to God!  He gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ.”  [1 Corinthians 15:54-57.]  Thus, it is often our own selfish personal need, our own unwillingness to say good-bye and “let go” that keeps a loved one from dying peaceably.

Secondly, just about all religions teach us that this life is a journey with a duty.  It is not the end all.  We are only but passing through.  For example, Christianity makes it very clear that we are but aliens and sojourners in this life.  We are told to look for a future home above and beyond: “Since, then, you have been raised with Christ, set your hearts on things above, where Christ is ...Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things.  [Colossians 3:1-2.]  Jesus himself said: “I am going there to prepare a place for you.  And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come back and take you to be with me that you also may be where I am.”  [See John 14:1-4.]

And so, thirdly, we should live lives mindful of the fact that we will indeed come to an end, and therefore should be ready and willing to cross to the other side, when the time is come.  About his own looming death, the Apostle Paul wrote: “For I am already being poured out like a drink offering, and the time for my departure is near.  I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race; I have kept the faith.  Now there is in store for me the crown of righteousness, which the Lord, the righteous judge, will award to me on that day….” [2 Timothy 4:6-8.]

Let us realize that Death is not final.  It is NOT the END!  It is but the entryway to a new wonderful beginning: “Then I saw a new heaven and a new earth, for the first heaven and the first earth had passed away….  ‘Look!  God’s dwelling place is now among the people, and he will dwell with them….  He will wipe every tear from their eyes.  There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away.’”  [See Revelation 21:1-8.]

And finally, know this: When you come face to face with Death, it is really the God of Life you will be facing.  What will you have the God of Life say to you?  May it be as Jesus suggests it ought to be: “Well done, good and faithful servant!  You have been faithful with a few things; I will put you in charge of many things; come and share your master’s happiness!”  [Matthew 25:21.]

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